Anaconda swallows drunk man(?) outside liquor store

Anaconda swallows drunk man (allegedly) outside liquor store.

No wonder he’s hissssing at the onlookers. If the geezer he swallowed was that rat-arsed not to notice his sleeping bag had got fangs and a dislocating jaw, I bet the snake’s got a shocker of a hangover, too!

Man-eating Anaconda

Okay, it’s a good photoshop if it’s fake (Is it? Vote in the poll below↓). But we’ve all been blind drunk enough not to struggle when someone’s slipping a warm blanket over us, right?

For this poor drunken bum, I guess he never reckoned on sharing his last bed with the gastro-juices of a 15′ anaconda. I mean, who would?

One minute you’re propping up a shop doorway with your bottle of Turpentine in a brown paper bag. Next minute, you’re talking to something hissy, slimy and serpentine that’s only got one thing on its mind. Yeah, we’ve all been there too, right? (What, never been to Wolverhampton?)

Is it a drunk or the worst case of serpentine constipation ever?

The figure’s not decidedly human, but I can’t imagine a snake swallowing anything else remotely that size even similar. Too big for a goat. Not small enough for an elephant. They’re rarer than drunks in doorways, anyway.

And another thing: how on Earth are they ever going to confirm that it was the wino, anyway? Something tells me there’ll be no fingerprints. And what about the guy’s teeth? Does the pathologist just wait for the snake to “go” and try and reassemble the dentures?

I mean, you can’t blame the anaconda. But you can bet it’s gonna be cut open to verify the remains…
…what little there’ll be left. How gruesome a job would that be? Nuh, uh! Gimme the job of rebuilding the dentures.

Poor thing. It only popped out for an Indian and look at the fuss it’s caused…

Cast your vote: is the photo real?


Woman with MS gets stuck in Charity dumpster

A woman suffering from Multiple Sclerosis found herself in a bit of a pickle as she ended up putting herself in a charity dumpster in Oklahoma at the weekend.

Allegedly, the woman had contributed items to the charity bin and, after being unable to account for its whereabouts upon returning home, became convinced that her tennis bracelet had accidentally followed the three bags full into the donation bin.

The following morning, she took a table along and successfully used it to hoist herself into the dumpster to have a ferret around for her lost jewellery.

After a while, it was apparent that she was unable to get back out of the Positive Tomorrows bright red dumpster and had no choice but to call 911, reporting to the fire service that she was ‘in a bit of a pickle’.

The fire service approximated that the elderly-sounding woman, who has remained nameless, spent up to two hours inside the box and was possibly dehydrated given how hot enclosed metal containers like the donation box get, even in the early hours of the morning the woman had chosen to retrieve her lost bracelet.

It was unclear whether the woman found it, although her attempts were probably hampered by another charitable soul who actually threw in a black sack of clothing whilst she was in there.

I dunno about you, but an elderly woman sneaking to a charity bin in the early hours of the morning and not wanting to pipe up when someone was actually there who could have raised the alarm for her?  Pride, vanity or guilt, do you reckon?

That bracelet, methinks, is about as real as the clothes the emperor wore in the prophetic tale that Lady Godiva would re-enact many years later on horseback in Coventry…which happens to be where the old gal who fell in the dumpster ought to be sent if she had indeed spotted something she fancied for herself going into the charity bin and literally threw herself into the task of retrieving it.

Weird news: Oklahoma woman stuck in charity bin calls 911 – video | full story on Metro News.

What do you think?
Was she out to purloin someone else’s charitable gift or did she genuinely lose her tennis bracelet, along with a little dignity?

Stacie Halas ruling: prior porn career does affect ability to teach

Back in March 2012, Stacie Halas was fired from her teaching role. Hitting pupils? Smoking dope in the staffroom? Nope. It was because pupils attending her school discovered her previous profession: a hard-core porn star.

Moral depravity, not illegality, the issue for school board

A statement issued by the school board at the time conceded that no criminal activity had been entered into by Stacie Halas. Or Tiffany Six, as was her chosen screen name.

Their decision had been based on the ‘moral depravity’ represented by Tiffany Six’s graphic film roles. Moreover, that the material was still available online could lead to compromising situations as yet unrealised.

Following the discovery of Stacie Halas’ dubious past, the teacher was suspended. A letter was subsequently sent home to parents suggesting they monitor their kids’ Internet activity. I bet I know what was trending on Google Local.

stacie halas original news story

Porn Star Teacher – Every Schoolboy’s Dream?

No doubt concerned fathers conducted extensive study into Halas’ background of their own. They had to make sure nothing remained on their kids’ hard drive, after all. Any responsible parent would have done the same. Confiscating the laptop for an hour may have been harsh, though.

Stacie Halas appeal rejected by female judge

Based on her understanding of the law, Stacie Halas appealed the school board’s decision. Did the previous porn star career affect her abilities to teach? That’s a hard one.

The judge presiding over the appeal, Julie Cabos-Owens, had no such difficulty reaching a decision. She agreed with the school board and rejected the appeal without hesitation.

Again, Halas having brought down the curtain on Tiffany Six’s porn actress career was a moot point. The general availability of the films online served to undermine the teacher’s present and future effectiveness. The school’s reputation wouldn’t have been up to much, either.

Judge Julie ruled that Stacie Halas would be neither a respected colleague nor an effective teacher, should she be allowed to continue teaching.

Previous online misdemeanours resurfacing will be commonplace

Richard Schwab, Council for Stacie Halas, tried to convince Judge Julie that the former porn star’s actions, although ill-advised in hindsight, were akin to that of much of the population.

Millions of YouTube and Vimeo stars upload all manner of personal content daily. Some of it’s genuine, but there’s also years of video that could come back to bite many a CEO on the arse later in life.

Schwab put it to the appeal committee that we’re at the beginning of an era where previous online misdemeanours resurfacing would be commonplace. No matter how true that statement, it didn’t wash.

He makes a valid point, in my opinion. Internet heavyweights like Google are striving to ensure we’re all using our own names. They cite the attempt to rid the scourge of scammers and spammers as the reason. However, with what we know about NSA, that argument’s lost all credibility.

Yet none of this changes the fact that thousands of websites avail us of uploading personal content with little more confirmation of who we are than a:

  • username;
  • password;
  • valid e-mail address.

Beware of personal content you upload anywhere on the Internet

It’s been reported that 79% of firms in the UK have used social media to either source new employees or corroborate information provided to them.

Much of that focus was LinkedIn. However, would-be employers, conscious of how people will fit into an existing workplace environment moreso than academia, understand that candidates show more true colours away from the pressure cooker of “The World’s Professional Network”.

Recruitment agencies are also screening our social media profiles with bespoke search engines to mine potential candidates or enhance CVs we provide. Everything tagged ‘public’ is fair game.

Would you be comfortable with a future employer accessing your online social media profiles? Like everything you’ve ever uploaded to the public domain? Makes you think, dunnit?

Okay, we’re not suggesting that everyone’s a porn star like Stacie Halas (more’s the pity). But profanity, suggestive images, reactive comments and even the online company we keep could all count against us if not handled responsibly.

With every item you upload, be it personal content, images, status updates or videos, just ask yourself one thing: “Would I be doing this if I knew Big Brother was watching me?” Because make no mistake, he so is.

Have Your Say:

  • Does the fact that Stacie Halas appeared in porn movies before becoming a teacher have a bearing on her effectiveness to teach?
  • Or are Judge Julie and the school board right to sack her?