Dangerous escalators on loose at Birmingham New Street « Network Rail

Oops! See the full CCTV footage showing the “danger of escalators” at Birmingham New Street Station » Express & Star.

woman falling backwards down escalator

Don’t be fooled – those escalators are dangerous!

Network Rail has begun its Christmas 2013 Safety Campaign in earnest by issuing a video that depicts three numpties failing to tackle that most dangerous of obstacles: The Escalator!

More than one person a day falls foul of these evil mechanisms. In total, 418 “escalator escapades” have been captured on video across the UK’s busiest railway stations.

This result represents a drop of a fifth on last year’s number of numpties, when 512 victims succumbed to the innocent looking booby-traps. However, it’s still way too many for both the rail company and, of course, the HSE.

How dangerous are escalators to humans, really?

There are two distinct messages emanating from Network Rail’s harrowing promotional video, showing how mischievous these monsters of modern technology can be when left alone with unsuspecting numpties:

  1. if you’re carrying heavy shopping, use the lifts;
  2. if you’re wearing high heels, hold the hand rail!

The problem, of course, is that the lifts all smell of wee. Furthermore, they can hold no more than three Midlanders at a time.

The knock-on effect here is not the issue of obesity. No, listening to Brummies for longer than the 30 second ride between platform and ground level turns the elevators more suicidal than Marvin The Paranoid Android. That’s why so may break down. Literally.

But back to the numpties. Rather than exit an elevator smelling of b.o. and recycled ale, many inter-city shoppers would rather take their chance with an escalator escapade fail.

That’s it. Blame the beer!

Puddles of piddle aren’t the only concern, it seems. As well as warning about carrying too much Christmas Spirit whilst sporting Stilettos, many incidents are allegedly caused by inebriated travellers.

Let’s face it, many Saturday afternoon drunks would struggle to negotiate a stationery floor, let alone one rising into the heavens at such speed! But when you’ve had a few, the escalators, well…they’re a challenge, y’know?

There’s a very delicate art to holding your balance, holding that swift half you’ve purloined from the boozer and holding on to your dignity. At least without spilling any.

Everyone in this video made a full recovery. Please tread carefully!

If guys and gals can’t go out and have a few sherberts at Christmas without having to face the swathe of dangerous escalators reportedly attacking innocent travellers, I don’t know what the world’s coming to.

To date, those captured on film haven’t been fatally wounded. But if the menace is left unchecked, you could be the next victim ascending the escalator stairway to heaven…

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Access to Work flagship program expanded for disabled entrepreneurs

There’s a bloody huge hole in the UK benefits system that renders disabled people helpless once they’re unable to work in the accepted sense. Access to Work looks to address that situation by offering grants to people who may yet have more to offer, despite their physical limitations or mental aptitude.

access to work, dwp

Access to Work – good craic, if you qualify

Having read the Government document discerning disability[1] along with the criteria for qualification to the Access to Work grant,[2] it’s clear only those with exacting conditions will qualify.

Conditions must be long term; if you’ve a broken leg that will heal, you’ll not be eligible for the Access to Work grant. If you have a degenerative disease like MS or HIV or a condition that, as a result, impedes normal day-to-day activities, then you’re in with a shot.

Access to Work for disabled in and out of work

If you are unemployed, you’ll need to submit a business plan for your self-employed project that works. It’s no use being diagnosed with a long-term condition and thinking you’d like a bit of extra cash.

Access to Work rewards disabled people looking for work – or looking for help within their existing work-based role – who genuinely want to improve their situation.

Many provisions set aside for disabled workers

In an attempt to underline how serious the Government is, there is money and experience set aside to help. If you have a self-employed plan but there are aspects with which you’ll need help, you can access a New Enterprise Allowance Mentor[3] through your job centre.

It’s worth pointing out that there are exceptions.  If you’re already on incapacity benefit, you’ll not qualify.  If you’re on Jobseekers Allowance and meet the disability criteria, there’s a good chance you will.

It’s convincing them that you meet the criteria, especially with welfare reform around the corner, where I see the stumbling block for many.  And I do speak with some authority on that point.

Although the money available is termed as a grant it won’t need paying back, in most cases. Nor will any additional income you receive towards your entrepreneurial opportunity impact upon the benefit amount to which you’re currently entitled.

Access to Work centres in Glasgow, Cardiff and London

There are three centres in the UK:

  • Glasgow
  • Cardiff
  • London

Contact details through the ‘qualificant criteria’ link, above.  Where you live will determine which one you need to contact. There is a similar scheme in operation in Northern Ireland.

Esther McVey has confirmed that, as of today (14th Jan, ’13), providing that disabled people are enrolled in the NEA, they will be eligible for the Access to Work grant.

I say again, and from bitter experience, the hard part will be convincing adjudicating bodies that you meet the disabled criteria. But with half a million disabled people already working for themselves, things may be turning in our favour.

As 2013 is my year of being bold, I’m going to apply for the grant.The DWP can stamp their feet all they like. Reading the ‘Cumulative Effects‘ section in the Disability Guidelines, I know I meet the criteria, despite their almost libelous insistence to the contrary.

I honestly don’t know which will be more fun. Qualifying for the grant and starting my own business or shooting the arsey bastards at the DWP down when I refer them to the Cumulative Effects clause outlined within the document.


Have Your Say:

  • Despite your disability, do you feel you still have much to offer to the community and economy?
  • And do you think that the DWP is working to a mandate that refuses issuing disability allowance until a case reaches tribunal?

[1]http://odi.dwp.gov.uk/docs/wor/new/ea-guide.pdf
[2]https://www.gov.uk/access-to-work
[3]https://www.gov.uk/moving-from-benefits-to-work/starting-your-own-business

Universal Jobmatch: unemployed hacked off as Big Brother gets closer

Iain Duncan-Smith was never a popular man, even in the Major years when he first rose to prominence.

With welfare reform and the impending mandation of Universal Jobmatch, he must have ‘the most hated man in Britain’ set as some masochistic personal goal.

universal jobmatch will end traditional job search

Universal Jobmatch will end traditional job search

There have been many arguments raised about the severity of next year’s welfare reform, conceived by Iain Duncan-Smith, that will gradually roll out throughout 2013.

From the promise of adult carers not being affected being broken to transfer of rent responsibilities to council tenants, there are many opponents waiting for IDS’s plan to fail.

But be warned! Until you see what’s in store for the unemployed, now being forced to use the Universal Jobmatch site, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

The mandatory uploading of CVs to a universal job site imposed by Iain Duncan-Smith raises cause for concern greater than any of his anti-welfare claimant policies to date.

In order to maintain receipt of Jobseeker’s Allowance, the unemployed will be forced to upload their information onto the Universal Jobmatch site as of early next year.

The Universal Jobmatch site already hacked countless times

Only last month, passwords, passport information and N.I. numbers were swiped from the Universal Jobmatch site. In response to the Channel 4 News report, DWP staff added that the necessary security update was an “ongoing process”.

The Universal Jobmatch site has been created by Monster at a cost of £16.7M. Whilst Iain Duncan-Smith expects the site to “revolutionise” job search, he wants to be careful it’s not a monster that starts a revolution, full stop.

CVs of 700,000 unemployed at mercy of all and sundry

DWP spokesperson has already gone on record as stating:

Nearly 700,000 jobseekers have already registered to use [Universal Jobmatch]…the feedback we’ve had so far from jobseekers is incredibly positive.”

That, however, is a load of bollocks and very much contrary to information received by The Independent.

IDS Welfare Reform Shrinking Benefits

IDS may want to do a bit of work on his PR

Unemployed people have already volunteered information about Job Centre staff forcing unemployed people to use Universal Jobmatch otherwise risk losing benefit.

And make no mistake, the payment of benefit will be at the discretion of Job Centre staff.

One lady, Melissa, from London, was made to feel ‘sick’ by two advisors who’d already decided one claimant was going to lose benefit for not signing up to the Universal Jobmatch site.

Bearing in mind that mandation doesn’t come into effect until next year, you can already see a precedent in thousands of little Hitlers in entrusted positions.

Regardless of all of the above negativity, there are two even greater very real concerns that override all of the political shenanigans:

  1. The Government will have access to even more data about the unemployed than is good for privacy laws, so “Fuck your recommendations, yet again, Lord Leveson” is the message
  2. And those claiming Jobseeker’s Allowance will be at the mercy of hackers, fraudsters and the aforementioned Nazi Job Centre staff.

I just hope that Cameron does one good thing and fucks Iain Duncan-Smith off (he’s already tried, once) and that the bald-headed little Tory twat has to upload his CV to the Universal Jobmatch site.

Now that would be justice.


Have Your Say:

  • Is the Universal Jobmatch site a positive move to get the unemployed back into work?
  • Or is it just another ploy from another Tory Government looking to grind the working man (or non-working, in this case) further down into the dirt.

Be careful how you answer; Big Brother is watching you.

A ban on hand guns is the answerFeck TV

A ban on hand guns is the answer – Feck TV.

That some U.S. citizens still try to defend the ‘rite’ to carry hand guns in the wake of yet another senseless shooting spree is somewhat astonishing.

To quote Georges Clemenceau,

“America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilization.”

What has happened in America to convince so many people that they need to carry a gun?

It’s alright people coming out and saying: the media encourages it or gaming is to blame or the psychiatric tests aren’t stringent enough.  It’s proving, time and again, that these theories just don’t work.

Most Americans can’t get their head around life without guns

How do you deal with idiots like this:

Everyday alot of people are killed due to texting while driving. Maybe we should ban phones. If the teachers were armed this could have been prevented. Banning guns is not the answer. Banning phsyco’s maybe. ?”

The Americans just don’t get it, do they?  And I mean apart from spelling and the basic concept of English.

No one has the rite to carry an object thats sole purpose is to kill.  It is against every fibre of our human nature.

There is only one option left: ban guns.

The world is not going to collapse without it; in fact, it will be a safer place.  We have to stop these shooting sprees.  By taking away the opportunity to access guns these senseless acts are dead in the water.

Why can’t anyone see that?