Thanks to the en vogue way of fashioning pubic hair – i.e. getting rid of it – the pestilence formerly known as crabs has almost disappeared. Well, certainly in the Southern Hemisphere, where sporting a Brazilian wax is more common than the bush.
The Brazilian Wax menu
Pubic lice – or crabs, as they’re more commonly known – are almost extinct, down under. According to Sex Clinic doctors, there’s not been a treatable outbreak for almost five years.
The claim is backed up by New South Wales University, too. Head of Sexual Health, Basil Donovan, confirmed that although pubic lice was once a regular condition down under, ‘better grooming’ has lead to the parasite’s extinction.
When Aussies go to get the job done, we’re not just talking your common-or-garden bikini wax.
There are variations on the Brazilian wax theme fashioned to make distinct patterns with the pubic hair. A bit like hedge-trimming…enough said.
However, the majority of women still punt for the traditional Clean As A Whistle: a splash of talc, hot blanket of wax across the entire bush, then rip, bald as a nectarine in no time (yee-feckin’-ouch!).
The Hollywood is one of the more popular pubic trims. Along with the Landing Strip (or Mohawk, in the top photo, can’t quite get my head around it) and Postage Stamp (like a Hitler moustache – ought they call it ‘The Clitler‘), these are the more conservative tidbits from the Bikini Wax Menu.
The Vajazzle has had its part to play
The Brazilian wax is a relatively new concept in the Northern Hemisphere. But for women hailing from sunnier climes, keeping their muff buff is as natural as painting their nails.
The trend is catching on in Europe, though. The Brazilian wax is stage one of the popular Vajazzle. Swarovski crystal-encrusted privates, brought to prominence by the first series of TOWIE, require a shaven haven to lay their foundation.
You wouldn’t build a crystal palace on top of Centre Court, would you? Likewise, the Vajazzle needs a firm, smooth foundation to ensure adhesion.
Even though going to get a Brazilian at the salon is still considered somewhat taboo by the stiff upper lip (sorry, no pun intended) brigade in the UK, there are now so many DIY Brazilian kits on Amazon, there’s a good chance crabs could soon be wiped from UK shores, too.
Crabs, aka pubic lice, were passed between lovers during sexual intercourse, moving in from one pubic patch to another, hence their name. With the decadence of the late-eighties, they were a genuine pestilence.
As the Brazilian wax removes their natural habitat, those pubic lice have perished in the subsequent wilderness, certainly down under.
Well, let’s face it: any Aussie without a bush to retreat to is gonna feel homesick, innit?
Have Your Say:
- Do you feel cleaner, healthier and sexier after a Brazilian wax?
- And would you consider a) having a Vajazzle and b) exhibiting it, if you did? Otherwise, what’s the point?